The Muslim Family

بِسۡمِ ٱللهِ ٱلرَّحۡمَـٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيمِ 

The following is a transcript of a talk by Mawlana Wafi’ Muhammad. 

Islam, the last of the Revealed religions, gave to the world a concept of a family, which was either not known or practiced before.  It informs us that the family began with the entry of the human species on earth, as Allah (s.w.t.) Created Eve out of Adam (a.s.) and from both of them, He Caused the entire human family to grow.  He Tells us: 

سُوۡرَةُ النِّسَاء

بِسۡمِ ٱللهِ ٱلرَّحۡمَـٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيمِ

يَـٰٓأَيُّہَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱتَّقُواْ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُم مِّن نَّفۡسٍ۬ وَٲحِدَةٍ۬ وَخَلَقَ مِنۡہَا زَوۡجَهَا وَبَثَّ مِنۡہُمَا رِجَالاً۬ كَثِيرً۬ا وَنِسَآءً۬‌ۚ … (١) 

In the Name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful

O mankind!  Reverence your Guardian-Lord Who Created you from a single person, Created, of like nature, his mate and from them twain scattered (like seeds) countless men and women ... (Surah an-Nisa’:1) 

Just as how the children of a husband and a wife vary in colour, size, and so forth; so too, the children of Adam (a.s.) and Eve varied in colour, size and tribes as they were scattered all over the earth. Allah (s.w.t.) Says: 

سُوۡرَةُ الحُجرَات

يَـٰٓأَيُّہَا ٱلنَّاسُ إِنَّا خَلَقۡنَـٰكُم مِّن ذَكَرٍ۬ وَأُنثَىٰ وَجَعَلۡنَـٰكُمۡ شُعُوبً۬ا وَقَبَآٮِٕلَ لِتَعَارَفُوٓاْ‌ۚ … (١٣) 

O mankind!  We Created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know each other (not that you may despise each other) ... (Surah al-Hujraat:13) 

The Merciful Lord Gave every human being a body, a soul and a free will, conditioned by an intention.  He Gave guidelines for interaction with one another; whether it be the immediate family members or others.  The common principles are supposed to be upheld at all times in all places and under all conditions. 

So important are these qualities which every human being is supposed to develop, that the a’immah in many mosques all over the world conclude their Friday sermons with reminders to their congregations of the common universal principles for a good and healthy family life.  When observed, it will result in a co-operative and productive community for each one of them.  Some of the verses of the Qur’an advising the believers of living a purposeful and united life are: 

سُوۡرَةُ النّحل

۞ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ يَأۡمُرُ بِٱلۡعَدۡلِ وَٱلۡإِحۡسَـٰنِ وَإِيتَآىِٕ ذِى ٱلۡقُرۡبَىٰ وَيَنۡهَىٰ عَنِ ٱلۡفَحۡشَآءِ وَٱلۡمُنڪَرِ وَٱلۡبَغۡىِ‌ۚ يَعِظُكُمۡ لَعَلَّڪُمۡ تَذَكَّرُونَ (٩٠) 

Allah Commands justice, the doing of good, and liberty to kith and kin, and He Forbids all shameful deeds, and injustice and rebellion: He Instructs you, that you may receive admonition. (Surah an-Nahl:90) 

سُوۡرَةُ القَصَص

…وَأَحۡسِن ڪَمَآ أَحۡسَنَ ٱللَّهُ إِلَيۡكَ‌ۖ … (٧٧) 

“… but do you good, as Allah has been Good to you ...” (Surah al-Qaswasw:77) 

سُوۡرَةُ البَقَرَة

… لَا تَظۡلِمُونَ وَلَا تُظۡلَمُونَ (٢٧٩) 

… deal not unjustly and you shall not be dealt with unjustly. (Surah al-Baqarah:279) 

When these principles are practiced the family as a unit, and society at large, they will develop a special outlook of life and a unique lifestyle.  They will allow themselves to be bound together as with a rope, and will not be separated; they will be helpful to one another, and will generally make life much easier in the neighbourhood. 

The Qur’an Gives us a beautiful example of the negative impact on society when the family, or the members of the community, do not uphold the principles that bind them together; and the positive result of prosperity when a people live like a united body.  All these are found in the story of Joseph (a.s.) in the Qur’an.  In the beginning the brothers of Joseph (a.s.) were a selfish people desiring only their material benefits.  In the process of achieving their goal, they did not mind causing hurt and harm to their loving brother, Joseph (a.s.) and did not estimate the impact that harming him was to have had on the father. 

They thought that material strength was the only ingredient necessary for success in life; they never stopped for one moment to ponder on the fact that life is not just for one day, and no one knows what is in store for him or her in the days ahead.  They never realised that circumstances could reduce a person from abundant wealth to destitution.  The brothers of Joseph (a.s.) did not take note of a very important principle regarding the daily activities of every human being, i.e. it is very difficult to climb anywhere but it is very easy to slip and fall back to the ground. 

On the other hand, the outlook of Joseph (a.s.), was totally different from that of his brothers.  He was kind, polite, respectful to his parents, and was a very righteous son who was not selfish.  This story brings out two important principles that are extremely necessary in creating unity and harmony in the family and in the society.  Islam teaches that there must be co-operation with one another in doing good and resisting evil.  Allah (s.w.t.) Says: 

سُوۡرَةُ المَائدة

…‌ۘ وَتَعَاوَنُواْ عَلَى ٱلۡبِرِّ وَٱلتَّقۡوَىٰ‌ۖ وَلَا تَعَاوَنُواْ عَلَى ٱلۡإِثۡمِ وَٱلۡعُدۡوَٲنِ‌ۚ … (٢) 

… Help you one another in righteousness and piety, but help you not one another in sin and rancour ... (Surah al-Ma’idah:2) 

Every single believer in Allah (s.w.t.) has his or her individual responsibilities, as a unit in the family, and as a unit in society. Regarding one’s attitude towards family members, Allah (s.w.t.) Says: 

سُوۡرَةُ الشُّعَرَاء

وَأَنذِرۡ عَشِيرَتَكَ ٱلۡأَقۡرَبِينَ (٢١٤) 

And admonish your nearest kinsmen ― (Surah ash-Shu’ara:214) 

There are many people even in Muslim society who are prepared to preach to the world, and are quick to condemn others, but their own near and dear ones are living like the brothers of Joseph (a.s.) instead of the loving and kind, submissive brother of Benjamin.  Because the principles for a healthy united family and by extension the society, are Qur’anic Injunctions, they are universal and become part of the Islamic culture which is universal and are based on Divine Revelation.  As such they remain constant and are binding on everyone. 

Every parent is expected to transmit the basic fundamentals of this beautiful way of life to their dependants.  It begins with total expression of love and compassion for the younger ones and a similar pattern of conduct towards the elders, when the child grows up.  This is manifested in the prayer which the adult is taught to supplicate for parents.  Allah (s.w.t.) Says: 

سُوۡرَةُ بنیٓ اسرآئیل / الإسرَاء

۞ وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعۡبُدُوٓاْ إِلَّآ إِيَّاهُ وَبِٱلۡوَٲلِدَيۡنِ إِحۡسَـٰنًا‌ۚ إِمَّا يَبۡلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ ٱلۡڪِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَآ أَوۡ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَآ أُفٍّ۬ وَلَا تَنۡہَرۡهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوۡلاً۬ ڪَرِيمً۬ا (٢٣) وَٱخۡفِضۡ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ ٱلذُّلِّ مِنَ ٱلرَّحۡمَةِ وَقُل رَّبِّ ٱرۡحَمۡهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِى صَغِيرً۬ا (٢٤) 

Your Lord has Decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to parents.  Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour.  And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say, “My Lord!  Bestow on them Your Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood.” (Surah al-Isra’:23-24) 

One of the ways in which Islam brought out universal brotherhood is by inclusion of every believer, irrespective of race or color, into becoming a member of the family of believers.  This is based on the Qur’anic Injunction in which Allah (s.w.t.) Commands them: 

سُوۡرَةُ آل عِمرَان

يَـٰٓأَيُّہَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ ٱتَّقُواْ ٱللَّهَ حَقَّ تُقَاتِهِۦ وَلَا تَمُوتُنَّ إِلَّا وَأَنتُم مُّسۡلِمُونَ (١٠٢) وَٱعۡتَصِمُواْ بِحَبۡلِ ٱللَّهِ جَمِيعً۬ا وَلَا تَفَرَّقُواْ‌ۚ وَٱذۡكُرُواْ نِعۡمَتَ ٱللَّهِ عَلَيۡكُمۡ إِذۡ كُنتُمۡ أَعۡدَآءً۬ فَأَلَّفَ بَيۡنَ قُلُوبِكُمۡ فَأَصۡبَحۡتُم بِنِعۡمَتِهِۦۤ إِخۡوَٲنً۬ا وَكُنتُمۡ عَلَىٰ شَفَا حُفۡرَةٍ۬ مِّنَ ٱلنَّارِ فَأَنقَذَكُم مِّنۡہَا‌ۗ كَذَٲلِكَ يُبَيِّنُ ٱللَّهُ لَكُمۡ ءَايَـٰتِهِۦ لَعَلَّكُمۡ تَہۡتَدُونَ (١٠٣) 

O you who believe!  Recognise Allah as He should be recognised, and die not except in a state of Islam.  And hold fast, all together by the rope which Allah (Stretches Out for you), and be not divided among yourselves; and remember with gratitude Allah’s Favour on you; for you were enemies and He joined your hearts in love so that by His Grace, you became brethren; and you were on the brink of the pit of fire, and He Saved you from it.  Thus does Allah Make His Signs clear to you: that you may be Guided. (Surah Ali ‘Imran:102-103) 

Allah (s.w.t.) made it known to Muslims that situations can arise in families which may cause disunity; and when removed the family can become, once again, a beautiful unit.  Such situations form part of the Message contained in the story of Joseph (a.s.) in the Qur’an. 

Through perseverance with patience, Jacob (a.s.) was finally able to get the ten sons to admit that they were wrong, and Joseph (a.s.) finally got them to seek forgiveness from him and from Allah (s.w.t.) for their treachery against him.  Islam came to unite mankind into one community, irrespective of race and color.  Allah (s.w.t.) Says: 

سُوۡرَةُ الاٴنبیَاء

إِنَّ هَـٰذِهِۦۤ أُمَّتُكُمۡ أُمَّةً۬ وَٲحِدَةً۬ وَأَنَا۟ رَبُّڪُمۡ فَٱعۡبُدُونِ (٩٢) 

Verily, this brotherhood of yours is a single brotherhood and I am your Lord and Cherisher: therefore, serve Me (and no other). (Surah al-Anbiya’:92) 

As a perfect way of life, Islam established, among other principles, the following beliefs: In the Oneness of the Creator of the universe, that no creature can be like the Creator, a Divinely Revealed Code of Life applicable to all and not subject to change, and a Messenger who is a universal model. 

In the fact that the goal of every individual should be similar as was ultimately demonstrated by Jacob (a.s.) and his family, when they acknowledged Jacob’s (a.s.) leadership over them.  Even then, Joseph (a.s.) himself acknowledged that power and position are Gifts from Allah (s.w.t.) and He may Bestow them on whoever He Pleases. 

While the Qur’an Enjoins upon us to try our best to live like one big Muslim family, enjoining good and avoiding evil, Allah (s.w.t.) Makes it Clear that whoever should deviate from this principle, it will be to his or her own peril.  He Says: 

سُوۡرَةُ الاٴنعَام

قُلۡ أَغَيۡرَ ٱللَّهِ أَبۡغِى رَبًّ۬ا وَهُوَ رَبُّ كُلِّ شَىۡءٍ۬‌ۚ وَلَا تَكۡسِبُ ڪُلُّ نَفۡسٍ إِلَّا عَلَيۡہَا‌ۚ وَلَا تَزِرُ وَازِرَةٌ۬ وِزۡرَ أُخۡرَىٰ‌ۚ ثُمَّ إِلَىٰ رَبِّكُم مَّرۡجِعُكُمۡ فَيُنَبِّئُكُم بِمَا كُنتُمۡ فِيهِ تَخۡتَلِفُونَ (١٦٤) 

Say: “Shall I seek for (my) cherisher other than Allah when He is the Cherisher of all things (that exist)?”  Every soul draws the meed of its acts on none but itself: no bearer of burdens can bear the burden of another.  Your goal in the end is toward Allah: He will Tell you the truth of the things wherein you disputed. (Surah al-An’am:164) 

The way to success is selfless love, total resignation and sincere dedication; as our beloved Messenger (s.a.w.), demonstrated in his own life, as Allah (s.w.t.) Tells us about him in the Qur’an.  He Says: 

سُوۡرَةُ النّجْم

مَا ضَلَّ صَاحِبُكُمۡ وَمَا غَوَىٰ (٢) وَمَا يَنطِقُ عَنِ ٱلۡهَوَىٰٓ (٣) 

Your companion is neither astray nor being misled, nor does he say (aught) of (his own) desire. (Surah an-Najm:2-3) 

We should try our best to avoid the negatives and uphold the positives if we are to live like one big happy family.