Thursday, 22 January 2009
Starting from Scratch
بِسۡمِ ٱللهِ ٱلرَّحۡمَـٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيمِ
It has been 10 years since I became a Muslim. And on the 19th of January, my birthday, I decided to leave the religion. I had had enough of this so-called ummah. I was so angry at the Muslims; I thought Allah (s.w.t.) and his Prophet (s.a.w.) had abandoned me. I was wrong. So, I had to start from scratch, rediscovering what it was that brought me to Islam.
I started at the beginning - I re-read Martin Ling's Life of Mohammed. And I read the Qur'an again, spending long hours into the night trying to search for an answer. I did not get any. Or so I thought. I put up on my Facebook: The Well of Kawtsar is bitter; it's promise a pack of lies.’
The angels were busy; the prophets had other business so Allah (s.w.t.) Sent an old friend. He was more than a friend. He was a mentor, my first Muslim Teacher. It was a touching post. Quite unexpected. I guess everybody has a different side.
I met up with him; we sat at the coffee shop having tea. As usual, conversations with him involve a lot of thinking. We discussed my situation. I realised that God Answered me after all - but in His own time. We talked about the political situation in the Middle East - we agreed that war was in everyone's interest except the Palestinians. We talked about the Converts' Association - that place is undergoing a slow, painful period of decline. And we talked about my journey to Islam.
After the failure of my marriage, another aborted engagement; all the issues I had with Muslim organisations, it was decided that there was something I had to do to go to that next level. Almost 20 years ago, I left Singapore to go sailing. I physically left my comfort zone. 10 years ago, I left Roman Catholicism to the great shock of those who knew me. I became a Muslim. I spiritually left my comfort zone. Everything I have done was guided. I know that on hindsight, Allah (s.w.t.) Has a Plan for me. In the same vein that there is a Plan for everyone. I am far from complete.