Controlling Anger

بِسۡمِ ٱللهِ ٱلرَّحۡمَـٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيمِ 

Imam Abu al-Faraj ‘Abd ar-Rahman ibn ‘Ali ibn al-Jawzy (r.a.) wrote, in Thib ar-Ruhani, that anger is heat that spreads when something provokes one’s anger, it makes the blood of desire boil to take revenge, and may even cause a fever.  The main reason for anger is usually arrogance, for a person is never angry at anyone who is higher than him.  That said, the cure for this is that the angry person changes his state; if he is talking, he should be silent, if he is standing, he should sit, and if he is sitting, he should lie down, so that he may calm down.  If he leaves the place immediately and leaves the one he is angry at, it would be better.  He should also reflect on the excellence of repressing anger, for Allah (s.w.t.) has praised those who repress anger.  He Says: 

سُوۡرَةُ آل عِمرَان

... وَٱلۡڪَـٰظِمِينَ ٱلۡغَيۡظَ وَٱلۡعَافِينَ عَنِ ٱلنَّاسِ‌ۗ ... (١٣٤) 

… who restrain anger and pardon (all) men … (Surah Ali ‘Imran:134) 

And if he reflects on the fact that this might be happening to him because of a sin that he committed or that it is all predestined then the matter will become easier for him.  There are many ahadits that were narrated regarding anger.  Sayyidina Abu Hurayrah ‘Abd ar-Rahman ibn Sakhr ad-Dawsi az-Zahrani al-Azdi (r.a.) said, “A man came to the Prophet (s.a.w.) and said, ‘Advise me!’ 

He said, ‘Do not get angry!’  The man kept repeating his request and the Prophet (s.a.w.) continued to reply, ‘Do not get angry!’” 

The Messenger (s.a.w.) said, “The strong is not the one overcomes the people by his strength, but the strong is the one who controls himself while in anger.” 

Swahih al-Bukhari and Swahih Muslim also recorded that Sayyidina Sulayman ibn Swurd (r.a.) said, “I was sitting with the Prophet (s.a.w.) and two men were cursing each other, the face of one of them was red and swollen.  Thereafter, the Prophet (s.a.w.) said, ‘I know a word which if he says, what he feels will be gone.  If he says ‘I seek refuge in Allah from the Accursed devil’, what he feels will be gone.’” 

Imam Abu Dawud Sulayman ibn al-Ash’ats as-Sijistani (r.a.) reported, in his Sunan, from the hadits of Sayyidina Abu Dzarr Jundab ibn Junadah al-Ghifari (r.a.), that the Prophet (s.a.w.) said, “If any of you gets angry while standing, let him sit down.  If his anger does not go away, then he should lie down.” 

Imam Abu Sulayman al-Khanabi (r.a.) said, “The one who is standing is ready to make any movement, to hurt anyone and the one who is sitting is less likely to do anything.” 

Sayyidina ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Abbas (r.a.) narrated that the Prophet (s.a.w.) said, “If any one of you becomes angry, he should be quiet.” 

If an angry person does not become calm when his anger peaks, he may harm himself or the person he is angry at and he would certainly regret any actions he may take afterwards.  Many people have killed, hurt, and broken bones for their children while they were angry and regretted what they did for the rest of their lives.  Some actually harmed themselves; a man was very angry at one time so he screamed, his blood expectorated instantly and he died at once.  Another angry man punched someone due to his anger and his fingers broke; absolutely nothing happened to the one he punched. 

To cure this disease one should envisage what he looks like when he is angry and what he looks like when he is calm.  This is when he will know that anger is a state of insanity and immoderation.  If the angry person does not change his mind about hitting the one he is angry at but he promises himself to do so but first to change his state, such as sitting down when standing.  If he does that then he will see the ugliness of what he was about to do and therefore he will leave it.  When our righteous predecessors used to become angry, they would forgive, seeking the excellence of repressing anger.  Some of them believed that they were angered because of their sins, and some believed that they were being tested, yet others believed that they were angered for other reasons. 

It was mentioned in some of the previous Revealed books of Allah (s.w.t.), that Allah (s.w.t.) Says, “O son of Adam!  Remember Me when you are angry, I will Remember you when you sin so that I will not Destroy you with those I Destroy.  If you were wronged, be content with My Support for My Support is better for you than your own victory for yourself.” 

Shaykh Mawriq al-Ajli (r.a.) said, “I have never said a word, when angry that I have regretted, when I am calm.” 

A person who is angry at another should not punish him while he is angry, that is if he deserves to be punished at all.  He should rather wait until he calms down, so that his punishment is equal to the offense not equal to his anger. 

A man was brought to the caliph, Imam Abu Hafsw ‘Umar ibn ‘Abd al-‘Aziz (r.a.), who Imam ‘Umar (r.a.) was angry at.  He told him, “If I was not angry at you, I would have beaten you.”  And then he let him go.