Removing the Traces of Spite

بِسۡمِ ٱللهِ ٱلرَّحۡمَـٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيمِ

Imam Abu al-Faraj ‘Abd ar-Rahman ibn ‘Ali ibn al-Jawzy (r.a.) wrote, in Thib ar-Ruhani, that spitefulness is the traces remaining of others unpleasant actions and words, in the inner self, of the one was spited.  For indeed, the mind decides the traces of others unpleasant deeds to remain, as it decides for the traces of others pleasant deeds to remain. 

Shaykh ‘Abdullah ibn Ka’b (r.a.) narrated his father’s, Sayyidina Ka’b ibn Malik’s (r.a.) story when he did not join the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) in Tabuk, and the Revelation of the Acceptance of his repentance.  Sayyidina Ka’b ibn Malik’s (r.a.) said, “I entered the Masjid, while the people were gathered around the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.), so Thalhah ibn ‘Ubaydullah ran to me, shook my hand, and congratulated me.  By Allah!  He was the only man of the Muhajirun who did that.”  Shaykh ‘Abdullah ibn Ka’b (r.a.) added, “So Ka’b never forgot Thalhah for this.” 

So, if it is proven that good deeds and favours are not forgotten, so too are bad deeds not forgotten.  Nevertheless it is preferred to try and remove the traces of any ugly deed from the heart.  The cure of spitefulness is forgiveness and remission. 

There are two stages of forgiveness.  The first is to know the Reward of someone who forgives, second to thank the One Who Made one be in the position of the forgiver, and the other in the position of one who errs.  The perfection of forgiveness can be reached through being content, and this happens by removing all that is in the heart against the other person.  There is a more precise cure than this and it is that a person knows that he was harmed because of a sin that he committed, or to wipe away a sin, or to raise his rank, or to test his patience.  Yet a more precise cure is to understand that everything that happens to him is from the One Who Predestines.