The Marriage Proposal

بِسۡمِ ٱللهِ ٱلرَّحۡمَـٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيمِ

Sayyidina Abu ‘Abdullah Salman al-Farisi, (r.a.) is second in line in the Golden Chain of the Naqshbandi Haqqani, after Sayyidina Abu Bakr ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Utsman asw-Swiddiq (r.a.).  His behaviour is the exemplar of the hadits on the authority of Sayyidina Anas ibn Malik (r.a.) where the Prophet (s.a.w.) said, “No one truly believes until he loves for the people what he loves for himself.”  This was recorded in Musnad Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal. 

There was a time when Salman al-Farisi (r.a.) was considering marrying a pious and noble lady of the answar with whom he knew, and had fallen in love with.  He was new to Madinah, a stranger in a strange land and unfamiliar with the customs as he sought the hand of the local lady.  And so he turned to his answar brother, Sayyidina Abu Darda’ Uwaymir ibn Zayd (r.a.) and expressed his wish. 

“Subhanallah wa al-Hamdulillah!” cried Abu Darda’ (r.a.).  He was overjoyed and hugged his brother.  They then made preparations to court the lady.  They set out to a house on the outskirts of the town of Madinah, where the noble and beautiful lady lived. 

“I am Abu Darda’, and this is my brother Salman al-Farisi.  Allah (s.w.t.) has Honoured him with Islam and he has honoured Islam with his deeds and jihad.  Rasulullah (s.a.w.) is very pleased with him and has honoured him to be one of his noble household.  And so, I come here with the purpose of representing my dear brother Salman for the hand of your princess,” said Sayyidina Abu Darda’ (r.a.) in a fluent Bani Najjar accent. 

“O, you have honoured us!” said the father.  “Please come in, O swahabah of the Prophet.  Come.  It is an honour for us to receive the proposal of one of the companions.  But the right to accept is for my daughter,” he said as he signalled to the direction of the veiled curtain that separate them from the proposed lady. 

“Please forgive us for our frank words,” said a soft voice from behind the veil.  It was the mother speaking on behalf of the daughter.  “Because you came, with the intention of receiving Blessings from Allah (s.w.t.), and so I have to give reply that my daughter rejects the proposal from Salman.  But if you, Abu Darda’, come with the same intention, then my daughter agrees to your proposal.” 

And thus it is revealed.  The lady was attracted to the representative rather than the represented.  And beautiful still was the reaction from Salman al-Farisi (r.a.).  “Allahu Akbar!” exclaimed Sayyidina Salman al-Farisi (r.a.).  “All these dowry and gifts that I have gathered, I now gift them to Abu Darda’.  And I will stand witness for your wedding.”