The Sharing Group Discussion on New Muslims in Ramadhan

بِسۡمِ ٱللهِ ٱلرَّحۡمَـٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيمِ

The following was posted, on The Sharing Group, on the 05^th May 2017, by Sister Yindra Sierra: “Salaam brothers and sisters, 

Please read this post with compassion towards a new Muslim, on her first Ramadhan.  I had been thinking about Islam for years, reading, researching, as much as a non-Muslim can grasp, but only one thing kept me from converting – Ramadhan.  So, that brings me to this post.  I feel so guilty that everybody is so excited about Ramadhan, and I get so sad, so unhappy, so mad.  I am not happy or excited at all.  I do not understand the excitement. 

I do not want to be hungry, thirsty, or feel dizzy, moody, angry, when I work on the road, in Texas, with so much heat.  I have meetings all day, with different doctors, medical directors, nurses, and so forth.  The last thing I need is a growling stomach during an important contracting meeting of thousands of dollars.  I am not a hijabi so they do not know I am Muslim, or fasting, nor do I care to tell them any time soon. 

I work out at 6 am now, right after fajr.  I do not know when or how will I be able to work out during Ramadhan, and stopping is not an option.  And do not even get me started on ifthar, ‘Iyd, gifts, new clothes (only have one dress and a million hijabs).  I do not have the money.  Even if I did, I would not buy new clothes right now; I would pay debt. 

I also do not care about spending time with other Muslims, since I never know when a rude one will pop again to complain about me eating with my left hand.  I am having Ramadhan depression.  Is that even a thing?  Am I the only one?  Why can I not stop feeling this way?” 

Sister Chloë Green: I've been a Muslim for over 10 years and I still dread Ramadhan.  You will survive.  If you are travelling for your work, there are dispensations for travellers.  I believe that you can break your fast when you leave your home town. 

Sister Yindra Sierra: I do not leave my hometown.  I am just driving around town, 50 to 100 miles a day. 

Brother Kha Ndanny: Just do not fast from food and drink in Ramadhan.  The Ramadhan practice was introduced in 7^th century Arabia where people did not do the type of daily work in a society that we have now today. 

Brother Abdul Hussain: Is that not antithetical to the basic pillar of Islam: swaum, fasting?  Man, I am a grade-A cretin - if there are legitimate concerns or reasons that stop you from fasting, then do not fast, but rather, donate food to the needy in its place, which is what you were hinting at, I assume? 

Brother Ibrahim Underwood: Ramadhan is usually a solitary affair for me, which does make it harder.  I have sahur alone; my wife is not Muslim,  I do not usually have the opportunity for ifthar with others because of where I work, work hours.  And now, my baby makes swalat at-tarawih complicated, and previous times of ‘Iyd, I have attended the prayer and gone to work.  Once or twice in the month, I might have ifthar or attend swalah at-tarawih with Brother Wesley Jackson, but we literally live in different cities.  So the isolation and solitude does make it more difficult, and obviously less communal. 

Do what you can, obviously fasting the full month is ideal, but if you are struggling, do not let it overwhelm you or guilt you down.  I was originally Catholic too, so I know that one.  Job security is an element of personal safety, especially if you are by yourself as I think you are.  Try to prioritise the ‘Iyd prayer - arrange to go with people you know, if you can.  Going together to the ‘Iyd prayer does make it better, even if you know you have not fasted some or all of the month.  I have been there.  Aim for a couple of days a week maybe, when it will not be disruptive? 

Sister Yindra Sierra: Yes, I am alone and support my family back in my country.  So losing my job or underperforming is just not an option.  I just do not want to feel like a failure, so many people making it sound as if “it’s so easy, you will love it”. 

Brother Ibrahim Underwood: It is not easy; it is not meant to be.  It gets easier, but never easy.  Make a commitment to doing something specific this Ramadhan - fasting x days, reading some of the Qur’an, memorising new verses, and so forth.  One or two specific things that lift your spirits in this special month, and mark it out for you as compared to other periods of the year.  And I am a grump after lunchtime the first few days. 

Sister Yindra Sierra: Yes, I started making a list of lectures I want to watch.  I bought a biography of the Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) to read.  I usually read the Qur’an daily, so that would not really change.  I am trying the whole fake it until you make it approach. 

Brother Mikaiil Galliana: Brother Ibrahim Underwood, we can have ifthar together one day, insha’allah - or at least coffee and cake. 

Brother Ibrahim Underwood: Insha’Allah, you and Brother Husan Ruzehaji. 

Sister Shima Umm Ramy: Ramadhan is not easy for us Muslims as well.  I am a born Muslim.  Yes, it is an obligation, but many have difficulties fulfilling it. 

Sister Yindra Sierra: But all I hear from other Muslims is how good Ramadhan is, and how amazing and how easy.  And I am here like how is being hungry amazing? 

Sister Shima Umm Ramy: They have probably not tried fasting in the summer months. 

Sister Yindra Sierra: They live in Texas, so they have.  But most of them are housewives.  Then they tell me that they still enjoy Ramadan when they used to work outside the home. 

Sister Shima Umm Ramy: How does one enjoy 20 hours of fasting in the heat, I do not know.  I do not think it is a time to “enjoy”, but a test of endurance.  The first 3 or 4 days are the hardest, but then we “ease” into it. 

Sister Yindra Sierra: They say they enjoy the “feeling” of Ramadhan, and ifthar together.  I just do not understand it. 

Brother Mikaiil Galliana: True, it usually takes me about a week to get used to it. 

Sister Shima Umm Ramy: I remember growing up, when I was so tempted to cheat at times, but did not, more because I did not want to get caught. 

Brother Dawud Marsh: Actually I never feel hungry.  I get thirsty in the afternoon, especially when I have been teaching and talking a lot.  The worst part is the tiredness a couple of hours before ifthar - our days in June, for Ramadan, are 18 to 19 hours long for fasting.  Oh, and tiredness after eating – that is a huge one!  My son is a regular gymnasium user, and he goes to the gymnasium before ifthar - works better for him. 

What you are describing is the fear I had before my first Ramadhan.  I love my coffee and treats during the day, and tea and stuff.  Now I do practice fasts - Mondays and Thursdays several weeks before Ramadhan to get myself ready, but somehow you need to switch your thinking away from thoughts of hunger and more towards what you can achieve spiritually.  Set yourself some goals and plan your time outside of work as to what you are going to do.  Focus on reading and learning and aim to think less of food and drinking water. 

The first few days and possibly weeks will be hard, but from my experience, every year gets easier.  Now I rub my hands together when Ramadhan comes as I have a whole load of stuff I want to do during the month.  And fasting is medically proven to be good for you.  Maybe between now and Ramadhan, try to skip breakfast and then lunch for a few days and see how it goes.  Insha’Allah, you will make the most of it for yourself.  Islam was never meant to be a hardship for us. 

Sister Bara M Baker: The first thing I would say is that Ramadhan is not just about eating and drinking, although that is admittedly a big part of it.  Perhaps consider ways in which you can make this Ramadhan special for you personally in your individual circumstances.  Things you can do in a spiritual sense to connect you to the spirit of the month.  That may be for example reducing your intake if food or committing to giving in the community or engaging in a new spiritual practice.  My point is choose one thing or several things that will bring your heart into the Presence of God.  Do those things with humility and in taking those first small steps, the rest will naturally come. 

Brother Dawud Marsh: I covered Ramadhan pretty much by myself the first time.  I did sahur and ifthar by myself and was also learning about praying and everything.  I was lucky to have people at work who fasted as well, that helped.  But I learnt a lot about myself doing Ramadhan.  I read about the life of the Prophet (s.a.w.) and somehow that makes Ramadhan easy for me.  Knowing the hardships he went through puts fasting in perspective.  My advice - find a food that works for you for sahur for slow release during the day.  Porridge does the business for me.  And loads of water. You are going want loads, especially in the morning.  Can you take some time for yourself around lunch time?  A quick nap or a least a rest from work and travel.  Plan some reading for the couple of hours before ifthar - nothing worse than waiting for it so best do something productive, and you are going feel really tired after eating.  Oh, one thing I learnt was not to replace missed meals with snacks during the night.  Does not make any difference with how your body feels during the day.  I also stop drinking coffee during Ramadhan. That helps a lot.  I will make du’a for you, insha’Allah. 

Sister Yindra Sierra: Thanks, I appreciate all the advice.  I cannot nap during work hours.  I am literally driving from a location to the next.  This morning, I drove from home to my first meeting (45 mins).  From meeting to my office (1 hr 10 min).  I had lunch and drove to my next meeting (14 mins), and then drove home (30 min).  I am exhausted.  No way I could go to the gymnasium now even though I had lunch.  No way I could go to the gymnasium after fasting all day. 

I tried intermittent fasting (no eating, just water) for 8 hours a day for weeks, and it was miserable.  I do not want to practice more fasting,  I am already dreading the ones I do have to do.  I already read Qur’an almost daily, go to different halaqah and classes and khutbah in my masjid.  I made a list of lectures I want to watch and bought the book of the life of the Prophet (s.a.w.) I am actually excited to read, but I find it hard changing my mindset to not think about hunger or thirst. 

Brother Mikaiil Galliana: This Ramadhan, I am literally working from maghrib to fajr and sleeping all day.  I have to ask someone if I need to make up the fasting or pay charity or something because I have never done that before.  It is possible I could fast for maybe an hour before maghrib and after - but is that even fasting? 

Sister Yindra Sierra: If you are sleeping during the day, technically you are fasting, is it not? 

Brother Mikaiil Galliana: True, but it does not feel right to not fast on a technicality. 

Sister Bara M Baker: I say this from a completely personal perspective as I have no religious knowledge or background: Go easy on yourself.  It is a challenge.  It is meant to be a challenge.  My teacher always says that it is only with outer challenges and contractions that we will achieve inner ease and expansion.  Do whatever you can and show compassion towards yourself and your current limitations.  We are all limited in one way or other.  I wish I read Qur’an every day.  It is only in God’s Mercy and Compassion that I can find solace for my limitations. 

Brother Brandon Tan: It is okay.  It is a process. You cannot just make yourself excited just because everyone is.  If it makes you sad, unhappy, or mad, in the meantime, then so be it.  Like the song says, “It’s just emotions taking me over. 

Sister Lucinda Beverley Burton: I feel you!  After all these years, I still feel depressed at the thought of Ramadhan.  When I fast, I have to really change my way if doing everything.  I like to be active, but if I do too much during Ramadhan, I get awful migraines. 

Brother Jimy Shahid: My experience is that when I am not fasting, come lunch time, I will be like the first to start asking my colleagues, “When we going for lunch?”  And then late afternoon, I will want some sweet snack to go with a cup of tea, and then I get home, hungry all over again.  But, al-Hamdulillah, there is something special about fasting that I do not even think about food all day.  It is as if we are being nurtured spiritually by Allah (s.w.t.).  Granted, the last two to three hours I begin to feel exhausted, but that is when I try to kill time by catching up on sleep before time for ifthar, but then, I will not be going to sleep until after sahur and fajr which is at 0200h where I live. 

I think when you stay positive, Allah (s.w.t.) Makes it easy for you – that has been my experience since childhood.  And the reality is, the month of Ramadhan should be a time where we do bring a step change in our lives, if at all possible. I think it is great the things you have planned - the videos and the book.  I still need to make my own personal pledges. 

Sister Natalie Trog: Whereabouts in Texas?  Ramadhan falls in May to June, so it is not that bad is it?  Last year, I went to Austin and San Antonio in July.  The heat was murder. 

Sister Yindra Sierra: Dallas, but I work all over: Fort Worth, Arlington, Allen, McKinney, Plano, Frisco, Burleson.  It is over 80s°F right now.  It will be close to or at 100°F by Ramadan. 

Sister Natalie Trog: Hang in there, love.  Keep fighting the good fight.  Maybe this is your jihad, your struggle.  You know every time I feel down in Ramadhan while fasting, I always remind myself of this hadits that Allah (s.w.t.) Says every act we do is for ourselves except fasting.  Fasting is for Him, and He Alone Rewards it.  Well, this is me trying to be closer to my Rabb: “Please Make it easy for me.” 

Sister Fatima Nassrullah: Do not feel depressed.  Just do what you can. 

Sister Jackie Zahra: I think just celebrate in ways to suit you and your lifestyle, like reading the new book you spoke of.  I do not think Allah (s.w.t.) would make it harder on us, but to be at ease.  With fasting, maybe try as best you can,  I am sure your intentions is what matters.   I have never spent Ramadhan with other Muslims, and know the feeling well.  I tend to go the other way, and focus on a relationship with Allah (s.w.t.), and making that bond, love stronger rather than celebrate with others or buying new things.  Do not be too hard on yourself, that fact that you are concerned shows your good intention. 

Brother Hakeem Osman: To be honest, I dread Ramadhan.  I fear it coming ,actually, and here I am, a Muslim.  So what I do is, I start fasting on a 1 day or 2 days basis, 2 month before the start or Ramadhan.  I am not saying it is easy.  There will be days where you feel like giving up, trust me, I am there at that stage every single Ramadhan.  But it is baby steps.  If you cannot fast the whole day, may I suggest try half a day first.  Then, as time goes by, you may want to try the whole day. 

Brother Mohamad Abu Ali: I wish I can take 1 month’s leave from work during the month of Ramadhan.  At least staying at home and sleeping away the hunger and thirst for most of the hours is better, since sleep is an act of worship while fasting.  Take it easy at first.  Stack up at sahur. 

Brother Ibrahim Underwood: I am taking leave for ‘Iyd this year.  First time ever. 

Brother Edis Bezdrob: One of the greatest lessons of Ramadhan is swabr.  Some other lessons are empathy, compassion, spiritual and physical strength.  It may be your first Ramadhan, but I am certain you are strong woman, sincere and honest.  I am sure you can make it, if Allah (s.w.t.) Helps you.  First days are a bit harder until your body adapts.  Later, you cannot wait for the next one. 

Sister Asha Zuri: I believe all you can do is try your best.  Last time, I only fasted in Ramadhan to support my other half.  I did not want to eat or drink in front of him, and cause him to mess up, so I fasted too.  This year, I will be fasting again. Now, I am also praying.  I also workout right after fajr, and am trying to figure out the best way to handle that.  I do know almost everyone works out here, but no one works out during the daytime.  I swear almost all of the island is out exercising in the evening.  But I have not figured out when I'm going to work out, but I think it will be an evening workout too. 

Sister Yindra Sierra: I admire you so much! 

Brother Jak Kilby: Try to do something, whatever you can, and do your best, as with all things.  Then, do as much as you can; you set the limits.  If you have that work intensity combined with long days, and cannot manage, then try on days off at least.  Only problem there is that when you start fasting a month things like headaches kick in the first days but then go.  Experiencing similar in the past myself, thirst was the worst in summers, but drink water during sahur and when you make wudhu’ for prayers, you can rinse your mouth which helps.  Actually, aside from increased ‘ibadah, part of the joys is being together with community.  Try to avoid fear of that and find like-minded brothers and sisters. 

Brother Gary Dargan: I have problems with fasting because of a medical condition.  I do what I can, and take a break when it becomes too difficult.  You can try fasting on your days off, but you still need the right strategies.  Your morning meal should be filling, but not heavy on sugar.  Some good carbohydrate and fresh fruit will help you get through the day.  Do not overload on water.  You will only feel bloated, and just get rid of most of it in the bathroom within two hours.  It is best to drink frequent small glasses of water outside of fasting hours.  Break your fast with something simple.  Dates and water or milk.  Go easy on the sugar.  Eat a good meal between maghrib and isha’, but do not overdo it because swalah at-tarawih is not easy on a full stomach.  You can have a light snack and something to drink before bed but again do not overdo it.  Sleeping on a full stomach is not good.  Some practice fasts on your days off are useful to see how you will manage, but do not stress out too much.  If you cannot fast you cannot fast. 

Sister Claudia Reyhana Badrudeen: Brother Terence once posted a post saying, in my interpretation, if we think that it is the food that sustains us we are looking at incorrectly.  Allah (s.w.t.) is the One Who Sustains us, the food is a gift.  I am a massage therapist, reflexologist, and energy healer, when Ramadhan is in winter.  I have to work in a heated room and remedial massaging can be very physical, and especially in Ramadhan, difficult. 

However since reading Brother Terence’s post, the way I look at it has become different and it is not so challenging now.  It is I guess about realising that Allah (s.w.t.) can make anything easy if our intent is for His Pleasure, and that it is He Who Sustains us and Allows us not to feel hungry or thirsty, not what we eat and drink.  I hope that helps. 

Sister Vivi YZ: Sister Yindra, I live in a country with hot, humid weather.  I eat 2-6 dates during sahur other than the sahur meal.  You can eat more if your meal is small, or if fasting longer hours and please sahur just half hour or 1 hour before fajr prayers, not too early, 1 cup honey lemon or lime with warm water and 1-2 cups plain water.  I make sure I drink at least 4 cups of water at night, after break fast time until sahur time.  It works for me.  Dates give me energy and stave off severe hunger pangs.  I usually take black seed oil capsules too because I usually do not mix sugar with main meals as it causes alcohol fermentation in the stomach, meaning bad bacteria.  Black seed is anti-bacterial and is said to improve energy levels.  Either that or garlic tablets. 

After conditioning your body, it gets easier, especially when you remember who you are doing it for and why.  I think there are many Muslims secretly dreading deprivation when they think of Ramadhan - myself included, but the thought of getting extra Rewards and Allah’s (s.w.t.) Blessings wins us over as Ramadhan progresses. 

Brother Fahed Bizzari: I personally dread everything in Islam, unless my heart becomes convinced and conscious of the spiritual virtues.  When that happens, the challenges become much easier to take on and deal with, and often a pleasure.  In the case of Ramadhan, the Prophet (s.a.w.) said, “Every action of the son of Adam is Given Manifold Reward, each good deed receiving ten times it is like, up to seven hundred times.  Allah (s.w.t.) Says, ‘Except for fasting, for it is for Me, and I will Give recompense for it, he leaves off his desires and his food for Me.’” 

The Prophet (s.a.w.) said, “For the fasting person there are two times of joy; a time when he breaks his fast and a time of joy when he meets his Lord.” 

He also said, “The smell coming from the mouth of the fasting person is better with Allah (s.w.t.) than the smell of musk.” 

He also said, “There is a gate in Paradise called ar-Rayyaan, and those who observe fasting will enter from it on the Day of Judgement, and none except them will enter from it.  It will be said, ‘Where are those who used to observe fasting?’  They will get up, and none except them will enter from it.  After their entry, this gate will be closed and nobody will enter from it.” 

He also said, “Fasting is a shield with which a servant protects himself from the Fire.” 

He also said, “On the Day of Judgement, fasting will say, ‘O My Lord, I prevented him from food and desires, so Accept my intercession for him.’  And the intercession will be Accepted.” 

He also said, “He who fasts Ramadhan, due to iman, and hoping for Reward, then his past sins are Forgiven.” 

He also said, “There are, in the month of Ramadhan, in every day and night, those to whom Allah (s.w.t.) Grants freedom from the Fire, and there is, for every Muslim, a supplication which he can make, and will be Granted.” 

Fasting is an expiation for various sins as Mentioned in the Qur’an. 

A man came to the Prophet (s.a.w.), and said, “O Messenger of Allah, what if I testify that none has the right to worshipped but Allah, and that you are the Messenger of Allah, and I observe the five daily prayers, and I pay the zakat, and I fast and stand in prayer in Ramadhan, then amongst whom shall I be?” 

He replied, “Amongst the true followers of the prophets and the martyrs.” 

It is not enough for me to read these just once, and then think I know them.  I have to read these over and over and over again whilst opening my heart to them.  It then helps to reorganise your life in ways that make things physically easier for you.  I then advise people who are in full-time employment for the years that Ramadhan is in the summer to plan their annual leave during Ramadhan.  And if they can afford it, to spend it in South Africa.  Not sure if all of this helps you, but it definitely helps me. 

Brother Rafiq Tan: Reading your comment is like a salve to me.  Thank. 

Sister Naomi Green: I have enjoyed Ramadhan in the past.  But when I converted, it was in the winter - really short days here, and we have community ifthar every day, which is really nice.  But this year, ifthar is after 2200h and swalah at-tarawih finishes after 0100h before sahur at 0300h.  If I am truly honest, I am grateful I am heavily pregnant, and not fasting this year.  It was tough last year. 

Sister Roslinda M Solihin: Wa ‘Alaykum as-Salam, Sister Yindra Sierra, struggling with aspects of Islam is natural, and to me, represents how serious we are in approaching our obligations as Muslims.  We will not have these thoughts and worries if our attitude towards them is cavalier, so do not beat yourself up about it.  You are just like everyone else here.  I find Ramadhan difficult, not from the physical aspects because I am an erratic eater.  For me, it is more of my spiritual struggle, and that is another story altogether.  Just remember that Allah (s.w.t.) Knows our thoughts and feelings before we even understand them ourselves, and He is Most Merciful.  Whatever your concerns are, your fears, He Knows.  So when you are free, talk to Him.  I do not mean swalah or du’a.  I literally mean sit down, know that He is in front of you and listening, and just spill your heart out.  Believe that He Understands and He will Provide you with Answers in ways you could never imagine.  Good luck. 

Sister Yindra Sierra: Thank you! That was really very beautiful and such a heart-warming advice. 

Sister Rachel Uddin: Just do what you can.  It is between you and Allah (s.w.t.).  He Knows your intentions. 

Sister Florence Monique Hilgers: You are not alone.  I dread the “Ramadhan Karim” messages that swamp my Facebook and email every year; this is my 4^th year.  They fill me with anxiety and depression.  I am also non-hijabi, so no one really knows here, and I struggle with an insane metabolism, low weight, and very low blood pressure.  I am literally crawling, end of the day and with three children, I just feel awful and super-grumpy.  I can barely focus on reading Qur’an while fasting, barely keep myself from having a car wreck with the kids in it and I wake up screaming, “No” every morning of Ramadhan.  I feel like a failure at this time of year.  I have skipped days, and I volunteer at the local food packing place on those. 

Brother Ahmad Jenkins: I dread the hunger.  I work in a grocery store for crying out loud.  I look at it as a challenge, take my focus away from the hunger and thirst - focusing on all the ways I can please Allah (s.w.t.) in the meanwhile. 

Brother Sulayman Bates: Until now, I always thought I was the only one.  I would not know anything about social Ramadhan, but I also prefer to be alone, even if I had a choice.  Others have been able to kick their smoking habit.  However, my will is weak and I feel a great deal of guilt about it.  I can go without food or drinking anything, but it is going without smoking which is harder on me.  It has also been awkward explaining to my mother and stepfather why I will not eat anything, and I most often pray they will not decide on going out to eat during the day.  I feel most uncomfortable explaining it to them. 

Brother Marquis Dawkins: Salam Sister Yindra Sierra, I have been meaning to reply to this for days now, and only now doing it whist sleep deprived. 

I totally understand how you feel.  While there is a beauty and merit in Ramadhan - my first will forever be a memory - my views on what it is and represents have evolved.  And this year will be the first I will actually not fast.  I was exempt from fasting already because I have a few health problems like diabetes, but I have always done it with no problem.  However, I have two jobs now, one of which I start tomorrow.  I will work seven days a week, 14 hours a day back to back, day and night.  This would make fasting not only hard, but literally dangerous for me.  I need sustenance and caffeine.  We are not in the days of 1,400 years ago where I could simply decide to drop out of society for 30 days. 

Now what I will do is, instead of being bullied into fasting and causing harm to myself, I will as the Qur’an says, feed those who cannot afford food.  This is one of the lessons of Ramadhan itself.  The local stores have a programme that you can pay a few dollars and they provide food for a family.  So, insha’Allah, I will do that in lieu of my own fasting. and I do not feel hellfire bound for it.  I will as well probably restrict my diet to protein shakes and supplements for the duration as well, since Ramadhan is an excellent body recharge time.  And I will refrain from other activities I would normally do during the day as well as usual.  In other words, there are options. 

It is not that we should be willy nilly with our faith, had I not the two jobs, I would probably fast as normal. But the Qur’an Says: 

سُوۡرَةُ البَقَرَة

أَيَّامً۬ا مَّعۡدُودَٲتٍ۬‌ۚ فَمَن كَانَ مِنكُم مَّرِيضًا أَوۡ عَلَىٰ سَفَرٍ۬ فَعِدَّةٌ۬ مِّنۡ أَيَّامٍ أُخَرَ‌ۚ وَعَلَى ٱلَّذِينَ يُطِيقُونَهُ ۥ فِدۡيَةٌ۬ طَعَامُ مِسۡكِينٍ۬‌ۖ فَمَن تَطَوَّعَ خَيۡرً۬ا فَهُوَ خَيۡرٌ۬ لَّهُ ۥ‌ۚ وَأَن تَصُومُواْ خَيۡرٌ۬ لَّڪُمۡ‌ۖ إِن كُنتُمۡ تَعۡلَمُونَ (١٨٤) 

(Fasting) for a fixed number of days; but if any of you is ill or on a journey, the prescribed number (should be made up) from days later.  For those who can do it (with hardship) is a ransom, the feeding of one that is indigent.  But he that will give more of his own free-will ― it is better for him, and it is better for you that ye fast, if ye only knew. (Surah al-Baqarah:184) 

Brother Jak Kilby: Brother Marquis, 1,400 years ago they did not just drop out of society for 30 days.  Generally, work carried on, including fighting in war.  Granted, your workload is a problem, you sound like a total work slave.  And your medical condition is a genuine reason for exemption although you say you fasted without problem before.  Feeding the poor is a “get out of jail free” card, you can do that.  But do avoid if it becomes an excuse as it is for many rich Saudis and Gulf Arabs who flock to Europe each Ramadhan.  If you can, it might be an option to fast on any days off, if they exist. 

Brother Abdul Hussain: There is no such thing as “enjoying Ramadhan” in the most primitive sense, which is the very act of fasting itself.  Those who say they enjoy it are either enjoying the spiritual, health-based, and communal aspects of it, or they are lying to you. 

Sister Florence Monique Hilgers: I admit that the ones who smile and say, “Oh, it’s just a breeze” - I just want to punch them, God Forgive me. 

Brother Abdul Hussain: Screw that – I would go a step further.  I would stab them to death and use their corpses as qurbani offerings. 

Sister Florence Monique Hilgers: Brother Abdul Hussain, you made me laugh so hard before entering my classroom this morning. 

Sister Angel Sshi: I used to never fast except for a few half days, but decided to pay for the poor.  Muslims say Ramadhan helps them to detox, but you should see some of them, they act like they have PMS.  You can try a few days or half days or if medical condition then you know what you can do or cannot.  I believe take baby steps, and things will be easier. 

Sister Andra Riddle Goddard: Dear Yindra, I am so sorry that you are experiencing this, but this group is the right place to share it.  So many, possibly even a majority, of us, are alone in our faith, and in awkward situations to practice Ramadhan, not to mention hearing everyone go on about their ifthar and ‘Iyd, and parties, and gifts.  But gifts and parties are not the faith; they are part of their culture.  So let go of that stress right off.  As for the rest, I am sure others have posted wise comments while I slept.   But this group is the place to be.  Last year was my first Ramadhan in 10 years as a Muslim that I did not feel just dreadful during the month, al-Hamdulillah.  Courage, and come to us often to share, as a burden shared is lightened.